Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Drifting Away

The past days were filled with melancholy thoughts as you slowly drift away from me. I missed you so awfully that I do not know what else to say except look at you intently every time I have the opportunity to do so. I never intended to drift away too. I just don’t know how to react now that you succumbed yourself to your own world.

At first I thought that I things were just a little busy for both of us that I tend to have a little time to chat with you. But you told me yourself you don’t want to be involved with any of us for the time being. And I respected that. Yet I still can’t bear to watch you snob me in the most hurtful way I never imagined. Not that you were aware of the degree of the impact it caused me. And I can say that I missed you so much. I missed you so bad that I tried to make things worse for the two of us. We always had fights, I always had bad moods, and things like that made our friendship crumble.

I tried to be the best friend I used to be to you, or was I just imagining things here? You were so indifferent as well that I don’t have the courage to approach you at all. As much as I wanted things to be normal again, I don’t think that will ever happen again.

Yesterday, you gave me the opportunity to say things we did share few months ago—boys. And I was happy that you trusted me with that information, though in my mind, I don’t deserve to be. And I wanted to thank you for the friendship. For the past years, you were my confidante as I was to you. I appreciate things you did to me. The time we had arguments over our indifferences was just some of the things I’m going to miss about you.

The letter you gave me recently will always be kept. Not just in my closet but in my heart. I love you very much as much as I do to our other friends. No favoritism here. And if one day you read this miserable outpouring of emotion, don’t push me to talk about it. I can feel when you have read this blog or not. Just missing us I guess. Perhaps, time will tell how things will be for either of us, or never…

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