Monday, August 9, 2010

"I was fired even before I can start"

I really thought I had it. Based on my previous post I thought I now have a job. So at 1pm, I was already at the building waiting for Ryan since we were supposed to go to the office together. I was nervous. But I said to myself that everything’s gonna be okay.
By the time that we were already at the office, Ryan asked me if there were tasks given to me by one of the employees there who’s assigned as to what am I supposed to do for this day. One of the employees who were sitting behind me asked and Ryan told her everything. So she texted that employee and after several minutes, I chatted her over Skype and ask if she have some task for me. She asked me what kind of position I’m really interested in. I told her that it’s up to the since I will be willing to do any or both of those tasks. I waited for more than an hour for a reply. And then she told me (after that excruciatingly long hour) that she’s not really hiring me since their boss wasn’t that certain about me. She said that their boss still wanted to have “options” on the applicants. I felt like I was hit a stone on my face. Thoughts of my father’s preparation came to my mind. I have failed him again. And now I’m too embarrassed to tell him everything.


Later this afternoon will be my first day at work—technically. I still am not sure if I’m going to be working for that company next week since this week will be my probationary week. They might (the people in the office or the boss) hate me or my work. As for would be officemates, I’m not sure what to expect from them since I do not know them all, except maybe for Ryan (college block mate). He was the one who recommended the job.

I was at their office last Thursday for my interview. It was very informal and I guess I made all my answers sound so stupid. Urghhh. The place was set up as a typical office and is subdivided into two with which the first division was a little smaller than the other one. Their boss wasn’t there so I wasn’t able to meet him. When I came there at 5pm, around 10 people were there, mostly guys. And since I’m the newbie in the office, I asked Ryan if I can come with him in the office at exactly the same time. He said yes and my problem was solved :)

I’m all nervous, thrilled, and confused about this whole working thing for me. After all, this would be the first time I’m going to do this in the real world. Hope I can do good later. :)

Life after Graduation

Right after graduation, I thought of finding a job that I will learn to like and love; some job that I can become contented and be fulfilled as a person and as a professional. I really thought that it will all be easy. Yes, it is true that there are a lot of good jobs that I can try to apply to. The disadvantage of it is the there’s always a job mismatch that happens. And that’s where the difficulty of finding a job starts. My interest on a job and the company’s job description always clashes.

I wanted to write here as often as I wanted but the thought of writing and complaining how unfortunate my job hunting would be too much to bear. And since I wanted to focus on finding the right job, I opted to rest and attain that goal first. It was pretty sad and at the same time frustrating not to do one of the things that you like most. But that’s the price to pay for the things that I wanted to achieve. Months passed and I get the hang of it.

I’ve missed to write a lot of things that has happened in that span of 4 months like the news of the newly elected Philippine president Noy Aquino, his new appointees, new typhoons’ hitting the country, Lindsay Lohan on jail and Okswana Grigorieva and Mel Gibson’s nasty divorce. *laughs

Saturday, March 27, 2010


Designer: Majeed Mocamad

For more than 15 years, I have been commanded to be in school. I was somehow forced to study and do good in all the subjects that I took since my parents do not want to have a poor headed kid, at least that's how I view things. And to give credit to the motivation my mother gave me (may she rest in peace), I reaped school awards (elementary and high school days) so to speak.

I worked hard to gain those honours and awards. It even came to the point that I drank energy drinks to stay put during those nights that I needed to study my lessons extensively. Yet, failures can never be avoided.

Failures are part of the evidence that we are just humans-erring humans. And although I am very much aware of this fact, I continue to blame myself sometimes for the failures that I encountered. Such is my weakness. I am afraid to be in the losing end that I secure myself above others. One thing that amuses me though is that when things don't go on my comrades way, I'll try to make remedies for them no matter how degrading that remedy is for me. I am selfish yet selfless (sometimes) at the same time. * laughs =))

Saturday, March 13, 2010

"The feeling of a throbbing and pierced heart then consumed me"

Although my previous posts talks about how sure I am to graduate, there was still that pang of anxiety that haunts me. And that anxiety was the reason why I’m writing here.

The feeling of graduation is sooo great that to think of its extreme opposite is so painful. We had our first assembly around 4 in the afternoon and I came to think of those times that I nearly lose hope because of my low grades. And to finally know that you did fine with that subject is truly rewarding.

As quick as the happiness of passing came, the feeling of a throbbing and pierced heart then consumed me. The surroundings became gloomy and all I could think was that piece of paper—that paper that acts as the parcel of our future. And it made me sad knowing that the initial grade (I’m claiming that there will still be a change) was a bit off from what I expect from the class.

I am not happy. I feel so down that the idea of graduating isn’t that appealing anymore. But I still believe that Father will be touch by some sort of a holy spirit so that his mind will change. I KNOW HE WILL.

I will never stop hoping and praying and BELIEVING that you can graduate friend :D I believe it. Hope you will too.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Key Teachers

For more than 15 years now, I have been waiting for this moment to come. Half of my life was spent just so I can reach this. But what else do I need to do before I go and build my future? Although it’s not official yet (and I am claiming this to happen! :D), I am proclaiming to the whole world that yes, I will be graduating. I am expecting at least =))

As suggested by this post’s title, I am about to thank a lot of teachers. Not just because they let me pass the subject but because they have been outright funny, intelligent, caring (some of them though), and because they lead me to the way of success :D I am thanking them because I know that with all those unending lectures and long equations, they have been a part of who I am today; a cliché yet so true.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

I miss reading books

The more I think how far long I’ve missed reading them, the more I become frustrated. :( In fact, these past few days, no weeks, I’ve been spending my time in front of a computer: surfing, commenting on someone else social page, etc. But as the end of my college life nears, I became sad knowing that I can’t go to the library with just a few walks from our division floor. The last time I shop for books was last September of 2009. I really hope that I could buy a new one this time month.

Actually, I have a book, an e-book about vampire diaries. I never had a chance to open it. Kid gave it to me so that she can share what she thinks about the characters since no one’s been reading it. :P I’m planning to do a LOT of things but it seems like I need to do those and that things that I ended up doing nothing about my reading habits. I wish I could organize my life.

Friday, March 5, 2010

The Most Tedious Week

This week’s grievous attempt to escape the reality of failing and the notion of parting with my friends somehow made my mind preoccupied for the time being. As most of my fellow graduating students would know, this week is the key to marching. Passing this week’s exams will truly be the deciding factor to those who have battled with their teachers for four years now, some even five, others are on their sixth.

Projects also have their own way of stealing someone else’s sanity. For this week, I was lucky to get a 5 hour straight of sleep. Most of the time, we slept alternately so that the other can do the balancing stuffs—in our business financials—and others can get their nap. Just nap. Luckily, for our group, we only had 2 minor revisions. Projects don’t end there since we have to defend other subject’s requirements. It was some sort of a zombie week for us—stressful, really.

Sunday, February 28, 2010


The devastating earthquake in Chile claimed the lives of settlers. Let us offer our prayers for their country.

I saw this video on Youtube. I was updating myself from what's happening in Chile. It's like viewing into a city of ruins...:(

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Supreme Accessories and Computer Essentials Super Store

I had a tiring week. All of us were bombarded with deadlines for papers and examinations on some subjects. We were really hoping that next week would be the last week we would be spending on our school. I really hope so. :D

So this week, we were so engrossed with our business plan on our theoretical company that we ended up not sleeping for a day (Yang2, Kring—my group mates, and me). The name of our company is SACESS or the Supreme Accessories and Computer Essentials Super Store. The main thing about this SACESS was to sell cheap but with high quality computer accessories in a mini grocery type store. The planning part was really fun and at the same time difficult since we are not some professional liars :)) But thank goodness we were able to pulls some ideas over some brainstorming :D

Terrified by Kara DioGuardi and Jason Reeves

I really love this song of Kara DioGuardi. I never thought she’s this good :D Hope you enjoy watching :D Enjoy!

Monday, February 22, 2010

GK Build

It’s been a while since I’ve written some post here. Documents to be passed are building up in my to-do list and I can’t simply ignore these things and do it later since these are the major requirements that we need to accomplish before the graduation thing. So before I lost my mind thinking that I NEEDED to write, I prefer to do it now. :D

The last days were really exhausting. I have circles around my eyes and I’m becoming thinner than the previous days (or maybe I am just exaggerating :)) ) :( Although I am that busy (as I claim to be), I need to be in the GK Build every weekend. It became my passion that I exert all my effort when I’m there. And when I say “exerting all my effort”, it means I’m sweating all my clothes with lots of mud on them.

Just a few hours ago, my friends and I were there. The house was now ready for the roofing part, or that part where we can attach the ceiling to its walls—not familiar with the terms :P My division-mates were assigned to do the duplex house. And it was done in just a span of 4 weeks. It was an amazing accomplishment since we only do the building once a week.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Confused and Worried

There are things that no one can really foresee no matter how hard you try to predict it. For instance, I am having such a good time conversing with my friend, and then out of the blue, he said “goodnight” without even responding to our former topic. Did I do/say something wrong? I was so happy yesterday because our planned dinner date really happened. But I am so confused at this very moment.

Have you ever been in a situation where reality sometimes eludes what you thought would happen? I am so caught off guard with what’s happening in my life right now. I am lost. There were times that I worry about my upcoming graduation (will I’ll be there?), and sometimes I think about unnecessary things such as the question that my classmates and I would always talk about: Will someone (anyone) hire me?

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Valentine’s Day

It’s always fun to have this day shared with someone that you admire so much, or so they say. But I wonder: Is that all that you can do—have a date, grab a pizza somewhere, hug each other and smooch him/her in the end? In my point of view, that’s not all that you can do in this season.

I don’t have a date, a date with the opposite gender that is. In fact, I plan to have my day in Mahayag, Bunawan. I’ll be spending my day under the scorching heat of the sun. I’ll toil and let my hands bleed. Did I make it sound so desperate and bitter? Hahaha! In approximately 15 hours from now, I will be there. :) I’m a bit excited. Know why? I’ll be building one of the coolest things I have ever made—house. This is my current project for the year 2010. But it’s quite hard since I have to actually do the digging. /no

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