Friday, January 8, 2010

Nightmarish Christmas


The celebration of New Year and Christmas is now over and I am back once again to school, job, and endless nights of paper works. During the second day of my stay at home, my father and I had a quarrel. Well, he was shouting (again) for our incompetence to help him at household chores. We were in our room that night when he was shouting and Mitch (my brother) immediately went outside the room to wash the dishes. I was left doing some paper works when he started kicking things, including my laptop charger. I was so enraged that I shouted at him as well. It wasn’t an adorable move but I just hate him for everything. For all those times that he kept me in the dark, for hurting me even when I was a little kid; I just burst out. He was somehow speechless and can’t even look me in the eyes, coward. We spent the entire day not talking.


The next morning, he talked me out about mu accusations and told me that it was all lies. Liar. I saw the evidence with my own eyes and he just wanted out from those stupid sins he did. But I conform knowing that I needed his approval for a peaceful stay in our house.

Our Christmas celebration is not that exciting as with you celebrating it with your family. We had an ordinary dinner and they slept for the rest of the evening—leaving me alone in our living room. My only companion that time was our Television and a couple of speakers. It was…ordinary; although I am kind of surprised to see a Christmas tree on the corner of our living room.

I wasn’t really enthralled with the prospect of celebrating New Year as well. I was thinking that they would still sleep and I would spend my night watching movies. But, to my utter amazement, my father bought firecrackers. There was a big fountain, a small one, and some tiny thing that makes a blabbing sound when thrown on the ground. He also cooked something. And that’s just it. At 12 midnight, they started bombing the streets with firecrackers. It was all smokes. I was inside the house watching some movie about freak zombies attacking people all around the US when I saw fireworks! It was amazing. So I went outside and watch them. After half an hour of sitting on the concrete fence, my father decided to call it out a night. After a few minutes of sitting on our old living room, Marlou (the youngest one) went to the room and instantly fell asleep. My father went somewhere after that and didn’t came back till 4 in the morning I guess.

So if you asked me how was my Christmas vacation? It was not happy, nor sad. It was dull and full of rebellion. And on the night of January 1 to the dawn the following day, I drank and let the fire of alcohol consumed me. It was fun. It feels like I can do anything. I laughed but someone cried. And before things get chaotic, I went home drunk. I watch my surroundings stoically as I leave the house after 14 days of stay. And that was it, plain terrible.

2 comments:

  1. Sorry that it had to be that way for you.

    Maybe it was good in a way though that you were able to speak aloud those things your father did to you. Bad for him that he denied it instead of admitting it and seeking forgiveness and restitution. But at least you were able to get it out there.

    My prayers are with you. You won't need to live in his home forever but you will need to come to peace for YOU about what happened in your past.

    ReplyDelete
  2. But i guess things are much better now. He does not force me to go home during weekends, unlike before..Maybe we just both need time..Thanks:)

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