Don’t you find it weird and creepy that I’ve been waiting for you? To write a letter to you is beyond what you could cope I guess. But I know somewhere, you do exist. And somehow I’m hoping that you are thinking of me as well.
I would like you to tell a story. Not a very detailed one but an overview of how I came to find looking for you. And it starts right here..
I was hurt by a lot of people: friends, family, and even those that I have loved the way that I am supposed to love you in the future. My friends were not that open minded during those times and my family just don’t understand me the way I am. There’s always a restriction and I’m always wrong. And there will be this brother that my father would always cherish so much. Then there were those guys that I have loved—two at the time I constructed this letter—who doesn’t seem to see my worth, who took me for granted when all I did was love them. And then I thought, you would never hurt me the way that they did because I know that you will love me more than anyone in this world. Would you?
You would probably think now that I only remember you when I feel alone and sad. And it’s true. I wouldn’t deny it. Those sad and disappointing experiences that I had made me think of you more, it made me long for you than ever. And I somehow regretted that I never thought of you before. I should’ve waited for you. I never should’ve let them hurt me. But then again, I wouldn't be able to realize your worth if not for them right?
As I think about you, I would always picture you with someone. I’m not the jealous type…FINE. I am then. You’re probably thinking and hoping that she could be the one. And strangely enough, as I write what you might be thinking now, I feel pain. It feels different from any other pain that I have always felt when encountered with this kind of situation. Different in a way that this feels like having eaten a whole bowl of pepper—with their juices and seeds combined.
I feel love when I think of you. I know it sounds crazy but I really do. You remind me of the song “I know I loved you before I met you.” CORNY. HAHAHA! I don’t know. That’s how I feel about you and most of you would contradict. Who loves someone even before they met them? Never seen their face or even know their name? But I really do. Mad but it is what I feel.
Do you think it’s a bit too much to ask for you to think of me too? It’s crazy right? Asking you to even think of the person you haven’t even met. Who does that? Just me…
I’m waiting for you. I know it’s crazy but I know God will find a way for us to meet. And when you read this letter, I hope you would realize how much I love to be with you :)