Tuesday, November 29, 2011

This December is MINE!

December is just 2 sleeps away! I'm excited this coming December because I will be seeing a lot of people (HOPEFULLY) including my beloved (Mature)4, the Big4, the Z3 peeps, and the CUBEHEADS (not sure if that's the official name or what)! I've always dreaded December because of some issues that my family is struggling to get through but my friends are the best, especially the Mature4--I AM the mature and the 4 would be Kring, Kai, Kim and Yang.I sincerely wish that we could have our long planned overnight. I'm okay with not staying in MP as long as we can spend time together--with my 4 sidekicks best friends plus 1. :D

God took some people away from me this year for me to grow up and to become more MATURE, to realize my value as a person and as a woman (not a girl anymore), to make up for the things that I have neglected, to find my purpose, and to be born again in God's family. It was a long and painful process to go through but I know (and I can feel it) that this year is still one of the best years in my life. I have so much to thank for. :)

Yes, there were disappointments, pains and even discouragements but all of them are needed to mold the person that I am now. I would say that this December is mine. There are a lot of things to look forward to. And I can't wait for them to happen! :D

When I'm Wasted and Everything is Just Plain Chaotic

I have a confession to make. It's one of those I-don't-really-care-what-you-feel post but I'm going to keep on writing anyway...

I have been in this dilemma since I had that realization almost a month ago. I just feel that my indecisiveness finally caught up with me. Most of you (who's really following my rant-all-you-want blog) knows that the past posts I've been doing are quite confusing. Confusing in a sense that in this one post, I talked about this guy that I like and well, the recent blog post I had (Questions) was really all about Him. Although I didn't stretched it out, I mean, it'll be clear once you read the whole post. But this post is about you. You who knew me so well that you thoughtfully gave me that book one rainy Monday.

Isn't it weird to like someone only when you think about him? But when you actually try to imagine/see that person's pictures, it's like you don't have that same attraction that you feel when you think about him? I'm super stress about this. I don't know why. It seems like I live in this fantasy where everything's okay and perfect and lovely and just plain wonderful, when in reality, it's not. Maybe I'm in-love with the notion of him being with me, me being attracted to him, and us being together... But when face with that reality, I'm not so sure. That's why I don't want to answer you the last time we exchanged sms with each other because I want to be sure, I want to say that this is what I feel, I don't want to be a prisoner in this make-believe world that I created. It would be unfair. And I don't want to see you get hurt. I don't want to see you get hurt MORE.

It's just that when I'm in this troubled state, certain decisions are sometimes uh, altered to fit my current feelings. Okay, so I told you that I will go to this bloody homecoming but I probably will not go. It depends. Not just because you'll be there, but because, MAYBE my family and I will be spending the new year somewhere far. Mars probably or some planet inhabited by aliens, you know, that theory of Stephen Hawking about parallel universes. But just to make things clear - I don't believe him. I still believe that there's a higher power out there. And speaking of that higher power, I still have some readings to do. So...

Goodnight! And see you on my next random post. :)

Friday, November 25, 2011

Good to Know

As I visited Google's homepage today, I noticed the link that says, "Read tips to protect your privacy online." Once clicked, you will be directed to the Good to Know sub-site of Google where they posted tips on how you can have a safe browsing experience as well as how you can manage your data. Google didn't pay me for it (how I wish) but I'm featuring it here because it's very informative and it's a big help especially to those who don't know what spamming, malware, trojan, etc. are (they have a section there called jargon buster).

I Love My Friends!

Heh! Jikko asked me what's new with me because I kept on posting melancholic topics. I'm not sure why but the moment that I let it all out, I feel great. I just need some place to express what's really bothering me. Plus, I was able to review my html so it's good all in all :)

It feels great when you have friends like him (or her as Jikko would prefer). It makes you think that there's someone who cares for you. Oooh. I'm being sentimental. But yeah, these past months, I'm missing everybody. And I'm like this kid who has tantrums when I don't know that much about them as I used to.

There were times when my friends and I have disagreements. But it always ended up well. I remember this quote that true friends don't need to say sorry. They just pretend it never happened. It's not that we don't value saying sorry to each other but it's more like: "You don't have to say sorry, I forgave you already." Don't you think it's sweet? I do!

At times I feel as if my friends are being insensitive and that they don't value what I would feel with what they're doing but, they really do. I now realized that friends are like your lovers. You get jealous if they don't give you that much attention, you have this expectation for them to remember your birthday and all other special occasions that your boyfriend/girlfriend (sometimes) remember, and although you don't get along well all the time, you always expect that things will be okay in the end. But I also feel that when our priorities change--work, boyfriend, having other friends--it's okay to stray away from the usual routine of friends-work-home. And because some of my friends are not that understanding, it makes me want to wring their necks. :))

I'm talking nonsense. :P Goodnight! :)

Thursday, November 24, 2011


I'm so bored I want to kill myself. I just wanted to talk and talk and talk more and maybe when I'm done, I can answer some of the questions that's been bothering for the past week.

You know that feeling that you are jealous--in general--but you can't do anything about it? You could be jealous to some girl he's with, or the life others have, or just the contentment that they feel. Why? I know I should'nt be questioning him but it's difficult not to when I'm feeling this way. I wish that he would love me more than anyone but I know that it's not possible. Who am I ask him that?

What's ahead of me? I don't know. All I know is that I'm here and I'm not yet dead--which means I have to fulfill something. But what is that something? What? I'm getting impatient. I don't want to wait anymore. But do I have a say in this relationship? DO I? But in the first place, have I build that relationship for me to ask that?

I feel like I'm not important to him. Although he said that I am, I still feel that I'm not. Now, I just realized that I don't trust him enough. I don't trust him fully. Which is the cause of all these hesitations, of these anxieties, of this discontentment. But how do you trust someone you don't feel often? How?

This is probably the darkest time of my life. I'm full of questions than ever. I always try to say that everything's fine and that all things will go well. But I know in my heart I still have this hesitation. It's not a question of "Can he do it?" but it's more like "Will he do it?" Or is this all part of being with him? I know it's hard but I still want to commit. I just think that this is part of why I'm here--to be with him. Not just here but in the future--or in eternity.

When I decided to start my 40-day spiritual journey, I thought that it would be as simple as reading some fiction book. But it's not and it's crazy that I get to questions stuffs that I haven't thought of before. I think I'm going mad...

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Today's Google Doodle

One of the reasons why people love Google is because of their Google Doodle. Today, since I'm not in my right mind to write something with much more sense, I decided to feature today's Google Doodle.

I was searching about that thing that you call when one's productivity increases when the person is being watched and since yesterday, I was google-ing it when finally, I asked my friend Natalie (who's a psychology major) to help me out with it as I remember that it has something to do with psychology. She told me that it's called Fixed Ratio Reinforcement. I remember we tackled this in our Psychology subject way back in college but I just got this feeling that it's not what I'm looking for. So like any other things that you are not sure, I googled. And I found out that what I'm really looking for is the Hawthorne Effect. :)

(I've been ranting about things that you're not really interested. XD)

Here's the screen shots of today's Google Doodle. And you can click here for all the archives of Google Doodle. 

Monday, November 21, 2011

My Life Begins Today!

I went to church yesterday. My initial plan was to attend the service in the morning but, as always, I wasn’t able to wake up early. I know I should’ve slept earlier but…eee. No excuses there. So anyway, I asked my father if I could go—because he’s a tyrant—and he said yes. I was in a hurry because I only had 20 minutes to prepare then. But I made it! Yeeeah!

As I was walking towards the chruch, I was much shaking in my pants. I hate that feeling. I was thinking about these things, those instances, you. I steered to the right side of the church to hide from you—if in case you were there. But I didn’t see you which was a relief...I guess. But I saw Ching and my plan to escape as soon as possible didn’t happen. And I promised myself never to attend the mass with you in it. It makes me crazy!

Kai and I talked about you. You know, the lunch we had together? Do you remember that? That was a long time ago, yes. She thinks you were kind. I’m not sure about that but I kind of believed her. She was asking me about stuffs and I told her everything. But I said that it was a summer romance, something that you can’t hold on to forever, a fleeting moment. Well, we can’t really expect things to last forever. Nothing lasts forever, in the human context of course.

Today, I’m not gonna worry about things. I surrender everything and I will obey. It is hard. But I’m not bothered. Because like you, I believe that God will not let me live life alone. :)

No to Mining in Palawan

I bumped into this site a loooong time ago but I didn't really blog about it. I'm not sure why. But I truly support them and their advocacy and even signed their signature campaign. The site is about saving Palawan, a place in the Philippines where its natural beauty is being threatened by those people whose only concern is to make money for themselves. They even have this ad telling people that there's life in mining (not sure if it's affiliated with them but surely, they're benefiting from it). LIFE. They dare use that word. Yeah so they said there's life in mining as they will be employing miners and other employees to succeed with their evil plans. Their employees would get some benefits and of course with a little uh, side effects...not only on their health but on the whole residents' health as well.

I encourage everyone (especially the Filipinos) to join this cause and sign their names to stop this UNBELIEVABLE abuse to our Mother Earth. Please, please go to No2MiningInPalawan and join this cause. Sign with your name and help save Palawan!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

TechCular: A Must-See Site for Smartphones, iPhones, and Mobile Devices

Just a while ago, I visited one of my friend's Twitter account and I saw a tweet there about this super cool site named TechCular. This site talks about different things that you can do ranging from iPhone's latest update to all the tricks and tips that you can do with your mobile devices and smarphones such as Blackberry and Samsung.

One thing that I really like about this site is that it features a lot of things which includes how to protect your mobile phones as well as tracking unknown mobile numbers. From a person who experienced losing A LOT of mobile phones, the post about knowing one's EMI number on mobile devices really helped me a lot. I remember the time when one of my friend's mom lost her postpaid phone. Someone found the phone and used it for quite a while that they had a hard time paying the bills.

But what really amazes was the way it warns people to use the tricks in a responsible way. I came across this post about how to you can Trace and Find Any Mobile Number in India but at the end of the post, you can see that there's a message that tells the reader to use the post for "information purposes only." That way, the site promotes awareness but doesn't encourage you to use it to harm others. The same goes with the Windows 7 keys post.

I wish the author would post more about tips about softwares and how you can troubleshoot PC problems though. But overall, the site was very informative! Keep it up! :)

Friday, November 18, 2011

Pornography in Facebook

I’ve been meaning to write something about this but uh, I was too busy with what’s happening in my country that I totally forgot about this issue. Okay so these past few weeks, Facebook has been under attack of some malicious pornographic images and videos. At first, I didn’t really thought that it was a spam but I kind of figured it out since there’s really a lot of instances when some of my friends posted a certain link to their other friends’ wall. Then there’s also this status update that says something about how people should be wary as hackers are posting something pornographic links to your friends without you knowing it, yadah, yadah, yadah.

Then yesterday, someone in my friends posted something about secured browsing and all that—which really is a must even before this hacking thing surfaced. So like everything else that needs clarification, I googled. And what I found out was that the hackers are targeting the vulnerability of a browser. Something about users being tricked “into pasting and executing malicious javascript in their browser URL causing them to unknowingly share the offensive content,” Andrew Noyes from Facebook said. He also said that they’re doing something about it and in the meantime, we, as the users, must reinforce our accounts even further. Here’s what you can do to protect you’re accounts:

  • Secure you’re browsing. Go to you’re Account Settings > Security > Secure Browing and check the box that says: “Browse Facebook on a secure connection (https) when possible” and then click Save Changes. 
  •  Edit the applications that are dormant—of those that you’re not using anymore. Go to Account Settings > Apps and click edit or just simply remove it.
  • You must have a strong password—this is very necessary. The ideal password would be like this: ILovemylife92$ as it contains 2 ALL CAPS letters, numbers and a special character. Once your account started sending links to your friends, change your password right away.
  •  And the best thing that you can do to secure your account and avoid this spamming thing is to MAKE SURE THAT YOU DON’T CLICK IT. Better report it and never be curious what Miley Cyrus did that made some person lost all his respect for her.
Remember, the risk of being hacked is highly possible once you subscribe yourself into this kind of social networking sites. Be a responsible user. 

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

I Love You Paulo Coelho! ♥

I was digging up my old pictures a while ago when I saw the screen shots that I took last year. I'm a heavy Twitter user since...I don't remember but, yeah, I've been using Twitter for quite sometime now. 

When my account wasn't protected, I used to reply to celebrities, reporters and even authors. Then one day, I was trying my hardest to make Paulo Coelho noticed me that I tweeted this: Maris said that I can "dream on" for wishing that someday, @paulocoelho would reply to my tweet.how rude.but I'm still waiting.:D I didn't even think about my grammar! At some point, I got his name wrong! :)) But that day, I was the luckiest person alive! Paulo Coelho replied on my tweet! I know some of you don't see it as something that big of a deal but for me it really is. I was jumping up and down in my seat and while I was typing, replying to some of the people who really supported my dream, my hands were shaking! Like REALLY SHAKING! See for yourself, proofs below :D

Tweetdeck Screenshot

Paulo Coelho's Twitter account

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

A Light Bulb Moment

I had an epiphany, a sudden ding-ding-ding, a light bulb moment. I try to evaluate my actions as much as possible, thinking what I did the past days and make the necessary changes to be a better person. In the process of doing this, I found out that IT’S SO DIFFICULT TO BE GOOD! But that wasn’t my realization for the day…

You know the song Jenny from the Click Five? Well if you haven’t, there’s a video below. It tells about a girl called Jenny—which incidentally is my name—who’s indecisiveness is killing the guy, always keeps him waiting, moody; basically an annoying girl. It came in to popularity when I was still in college. Some of my friends teased me about it the moment it came out but I just laughed them off. My defense: That’s not me—well, except maybe the moody part. It’s just that, these past few days (maybe even years!), I’ve been this self-absorbed bitch without even realizing it. And they’re right about me all along.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Google's Easter Eggs and Some Tricks

I was feeling a bit down today since I kind of raped the replay button of Priscilla Ahn’s Dream. I know it’s not that sad but the tune REALLY makes me so pathetic. :| So anyway, before I embarrass myself further, I decided to search form some google tricks. 

But first, you should go to Google’s homepage and disable your Google Instant. Google Instant helps “you search and browse faster on the web by showing search results and web pages in the browser window as you type in the address bar, even before you press Enter.” Click the gear icon on the upper right hand of your homepage and click Search Settings. Click the “Do not use Google Instant” choice to disable it then hit “Save Preferences.” OR just simply click here.

These tricks are called Google Easter Eggs. Some of the tricks were made by Google team themselves but some are just mirror sites that have been search often that they have climbed up to the top of the search results. Clicking the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button on Google’s homepage will automatically display the top most result, thus the thought of trick.

November 9, 2011

For five long days, I have been dreading that sms. I felt bad about it and I really don’t know what to do. But I guess we both have made up our minds…

Okay so last night, around 12 in the morning, I received an sms from a friend. I kind of had that feeling that he’s gonna tell me that but I pushed it back on my mind so as not to worry. The content of the message was something like, “Hi, wasn’t able to text you back last time since I went somewhere yadah yadah yadah and yes, I’M MOVING ON. It seems like you adore someone else already.” I don’t know what to tell him. I was caught of guard so I just said OK.

I was really hoping that you would ask me about it. You should’ve asked me and I would’ve said no…

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Using Twitter the Wrong Way

For your information:
The contents of this post has been transferred here.

I Need Some Chocolates, Ice Cream, and Lots and Lots of FOOOD!

The shortest text-conversation I had yesterday feels like LONGEST one. EVER. I was checking my phone EVERY MINUTE and expecting a longer message than what I have received. Then I asked if he’ll stop/has stopped and I got nothing. Zilt. Not even an “I’m not sure.” But at the back of my mind, I’m saying, “What do you expect? You’ve done it to yourself.”

I read a quote today. A part of it goes like this: You’ll have your heart broken, probably more than once…and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt like when yours was broken (read full quote below). And I can totally relate to that. Perhaps, I pushed it too far. I’ve ignored him for too long. Have I? I just wanted him to make up his mind so that I can too. I need to know if he's stopping so that I can move on, so that I won’t be thinking and waiting what will happen next because honestly, I’m now regretting what I haven’t done before.

I need to keep myself together. Like seriously. I have been blogging about sad stuffs and I know I shouldn’t. But sometimes I just can’t help it. We can’t help it. Especially if no one’s there that you can talk to. Although I’m not sad all day, the sad stuffs are very much highlighted here. I just need to let it all out…

Friday, November 4, 2011

That Awkward Moment

When my sister was about to enter Grade 4 (primary level) in one of the public schools in our town—and I as a Grade 2, she convinced mom to transfer us in a private school. She was crying and was really desperate to attend a different school since she was terrorized by the stories of some students regarding the Grade 4 teacher. During those times, there was only one other school that you could choose—Maryknoll High School of Maniki (MHSM). Mom was hesitant at first to transfer us since it would mean high tuition fees and expensive miscellaneous. But after a whole summer of begging and crying, mom eventually accepted the idea. And so we were enrolled with a huge smile on my sister’s face. /wahaha 

The change on my part was big. Although I don’t have a lot of friends in my old school, the idea of being in a Catholic school somewhat frightened me. Slowly, I was adapting to the whole new environment—prayer every morning, noon, afternoon (where students always end in a long stupor); a snack break twice a day (we only had a snack break during morning in my old school); and nuns as teachers (how cool was that?).

Being part of a Catholic school, the nuns conduct prayers every day. One of these prayers was done every morning which includes the Rosary and The Litany. And I was really having the time of my life. The time I spent on MHSM was great and during those years, I became friends with everybody. Not that I wasn’t friendly or anything. And I’m not being defensive…Well OK I wasn’t and I am! But that was a long time ago. :P

Before I became a bona fide Maryknollian, I experienced a lot of awkwardness mainly because I was a know-it-all and I always strived to be a teacher’s pet—not that it’s necessarily a bad thing, you know, being a teacher’s pet. Anyway, my first day at that school was a total mess. Let me tell you how that happened…

Messy Day

Today, I really feel like a total idiot. :| Thing is, I got curious as to why I’ve been thinking about this person so, in order to get an answer to all these questions that have been bothering me since last Sunday, I decided—in all cautiousness, to text him. You know, just a simple hello and yeah, I asked him how he was. FACE PALM.

I know I shouldn’t have done that. I’m not yet sure about this thing that I have so…GRRRR! Okay, so I was jumpy all day and I kept on checking my phone to see if someone sent an sms…BUT, it’s just my father and some useless ads by my network.  I HATE THIS. Now I know why—if my hunch is true—he hates me. He can have all the reasons in the world to hate me and to be honest, I hate myself too!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Pottermore is Currently Unvailable

Pottermore is currently unavailable (again). I read it in Pottermore Insider that they are making updates to the site. I’m guessing that they have gathered enough feedbacks from the beta users that they are now trying to modify some of their pages and “make Pottermore the best experience it can be…” They said there that they are “taking the site down for a few days.” How long would that few days be? Ravens must catch up with the Snakes! :P 

If I’m not a beta user, I’d be really mad right now. Well, they decided to “extend the Beta period” and no date whatsoever as to when the site will be exactly open to all. That sucks. I was kind of excited to meet the ickle firsties.

I’m just hoping that they will make the site more attractive and please JK, put some music. I hope they will put mini games too. That’d be cool. See Pottermore Insider for more information about the latest in Pottermore.

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