Wednesday, March 7, 2012

When God Says: Yes, Not Yet, and I Have a Better Idea

I never learn. God doesn’t need to prove to anyone that he has the best intention for all of us and yet I still seek proof. I still doubt even though I vowed to trust him. Now I realized that it was all a half-hearted trust. I never trusted him enough. I get impatient, unkind, resentful, and even to the point of questioning if he ever thought of me or if he has plans for me.

I was reading an article to a social site and I came across this article about God saying yes, not yet, and no. And then comments started pouring in and one of them said that God doesn’t really give you an answer of a no. Instead, he’ll make you see how the thing that you’re praying for isn’t for you and would say, “Son, I have better Idea.”

Today, I felt so stupid for not trusting him. I always see him as the generous one. And I used to think that when we pray and he knows that we really need it, he’ll give it to us right then and there. But it’s not always like that. The answers to our prayers are not always a “yes” and a “no”. And that was my mistake. I would assume that when there’s a delay in my prayers, then automatically it’s a no. I never really thought of how good God can be. He’s love is beyond what we could imagine.

I was losing hope. I asked but did not believe. I prayed but did not give my trust. And today, today God gave me this amazing blessing. And I was just so disappointed in myself that I didn’t have the heart to trust him fully. Lesson learned. And when I think about it now, I can say that I was this person who’s always grumpy about everything. I had this thinking of God forgetting me, not helping me when I needed his guidance. I wanted so much to peek at what he’s planning for me that I got impatient. And it was wrong.

I… I realized that there’s more to the silence God is giving us than the dreaded no. For some, their prayers get answered right away and that’s the YES. For others, there’s the NOT YET. And there’s the I HAVE A BETTER IDEA. I could not truly fathom why his answers are different. But maybe, he said “yes” to some because he believes that it’s the right time to give them those prayers, that the blessing he’ll be giving you is perfect for what you are now, and he knows that you can take care of the ‘talent’ he’ll be giving you. “Not yet” because I believe he’s still molding you to be his follower—worthy of that blessing, to test you like what he did to Abraham, and to see if you still trust him despite the deafening silence. And sometimes, when things get pretty frustrating, maybe God gives us the “I have a better idea” answer. Not to discourage us, but to make us see sense. Maybe what we’re asking is too much, or not a necessity—but a want, or things might be different and chaotic once he’ll give us what we’re praying for. Does that make sense to you? I can never know what he’s thinking and I can never justify his actions. Ever. No man can. 

Most of the time, it’s hard to tell if he still wants us to wait. We always ask for signs. And when we don’t get it, we’ll feel downhearted. And that’s when we need his guidance the most. Not to question for the delay but to trust him even more that he’s doing the best he can in the blessed way possible of the grace that he’ll be bestowing upon us.

Yes, I believe God will never say NO. He’s too good and he loves us so dearly and his grace is vast for him to give us that kind of answer. He’s a loving God. And I think honoring is the only way we can ever repay him, loving him and our fellow brothers, serving him out of reverence not out of duty, following him because his son Jesus saved us from our sins. Don’t you think it’s amazing to know how God wanted us feel happiness even if we don’t deserve it? That he’s doing the best he can to share all the goodness his grace could offer—sacrificing his own son, even—just so we can experience heaven with him?

Do I sound like I was preaching-because-I’m-sinless? I hope not. I don’t want to be viewed as someone so self righteous that I’m on the verge of saying I don’t have a sin and I’m perfect. No, not like that kind of preaching.

That’s how I felt today and I’m sharing it to you not because I am this oh-so-holy person but because I wanted to remind you, myself included, that God is good. Always. And God never misses out a prayer, be it a yes, a not yet, or I have a better idea answer.

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