Saturday, June 2, 2012

Call Me Maybe

I love the song of Carly Rae Jepsen entitled Call Me Maybe. It’s a groovy-teen type of song. I don’t know why but every time I hear this song, it reminds me of how my colleagues tease me how I don’t have a—as corny as it may sound, here it goes—boyfriend. CRASH. For me it’s not a big deal since I know in myself that I don’t have the time and energy to be in a relationship at this point in my life. But for some reason, my colleagues are all into finding me a nice young man who would be eeeee. So with that being said, they’re all trying to pair me up to some guy they knew from somewhere. To mask it all up, I act as if I’m all for it, that I’m excited meeting new guys but honestly, I’m not. I’m okay with being friends to everyone and I just don’t see the need to ‘window shop’. Some would even say that I should be dating a lot of guys, no to serious relationships and just play. But I guess, what Yang told me about relationship years ago somehow made me believe that relationship truly is an investment.


Maybe some of you might relate to this. And some of you might have experience the same “bullying” that I am experiencing today. Ever asked of those sticky questions that you try to answer but still find yourself unable to explain to your friends comprehensively? Friends keep on trying you to “admit” that you still waiting for that guy you broke up years ago or some guy that you find attractive months and months ago? Always convincing them that you have moved on? Pacify their fears of you getting all suicidal?  I know I did. So here are just some of the questions that are always popping up:


Why are you still single? Contrary to what my friends would say, I’m not heartbroken, waiting for some guy (hmmm, we’ll discuss about that later) that I had an ancient crush with, or traumatized with my past relationships, for that matter. I’m not. And then there’s this question of: Are you single out of chance (it means no one’s showing interest towards you) or out of choice (e.g. some guy’s courting you but you don’t want to be in a relationship as of the moment)? I mean, COME ON. I sometimes question the sincerity of my friends (if they really are my friends, KIDDING!) questions. :P Does it matter if it’s a choice or by chance that I’m still single? I think it boils down how you show to them that you’re happy without a man in your life. If you’re grumpy and always complaining about not having a partner still, then most probably, you’ll get those questions. But if you live your life fully, I don’t think they will even notice it.


Others would ask: How old are you? Then you’d reply: I’m yadah yadah yadah years old. If you’re on 30-40s, they would say something like, You’re not getting any younger, any plans? But if you’re on your 20s, they would encourage you to play around. For me, relationship is as sacred as marriage. It’s not to be rushed, and not be played with. We might don’t share this kind of belief but I don’t fool around because I know how it felt like to be on the receiving end. It was hell. I know didn’t deserve it, no one deserves it. And I’d be this monster to inflict to anyone this hurt when I know how painful it was from the beginning. I believe in karma, good and bad. I’d like to think of this quote as my guiding factor in love: Someday, someone’s going to walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else. Rushing spoils the relationship. You’ll be time bounded—which shouldn’t be the case. You might be ending up with a wrong guy just because you are worrying that you’re aging fast enough. Nobody should settle. Nobody.


Yes I’m waiting. I’m waiting for that guy who would be the father of my kids; who will make me cry but will never hurt me; who’ll be half a father as my dad (minus the vices); whom I will be saying I do in the future. Although Bo Sanchez wouldn’t agree to this—waiting and waiting and waiting, I don’t care. Everything happens for a reason. I guess Catholics (being a Catholic myself) have a way of questioning the purpose of free will given to us by God if we cannot exercise it.


Bottomline: Love is an investment. You’re investing a lot of effort, love and time. If you think that you’ll be losing yourself in the relationship you’re in, then RUN. A wise investor knows how where his money will grow. Likewise, we should be looking forward in our relationships. We might feel committed to this relationship because we lose so much or sacrificed so much to make it work. But it’s not going to be better. It’s destined for damnation. A good relationship has a good foundation. Along the way it’s going crumble. But if the foundation (courtship and or being friends before plunging into the abyss of the unknown) is strong, then you don’t have to worry. After all of the tears and pain and hurt, it’s all going to be worth it.


It always feels like there’s just one person in this world to love. And then you find somebody else. And it just seems crazy that you were ever worried in the first place. –Lexie Grey, Grey’s Anatomy (Spoiler Alert: I can't believe she died!)

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