I haven’t decided yet what to do with this. And as much as I wanted to ignore all of it, I can’t. This… thinking creeps on me every single time. And yes, I hate it. Last night was like my Eureka moment. But then a realization hit me. The it-will-never-be-possible-thought was followed by I’m-not-good-enough and again followed by he-will-never-allow-it. Ok, I’m crazy about men and their antics again but whatever. I feel like I was born a romantic. I think I really am! And last night was one of the most superb and shittiest moments in my life. Superb = everybody was happy (saw my friends) and I was able to see him. And shittiest = I almost slept at a bus terminal. That and him made me cry.
So anyway, my final projects and examination took place last weekend and HOPEFULLY, I am now one semester done. Booya! Some professor got irritated at me when I ask him to give my project to my real professor (as if he’s not a legit :P). I totally asked him nicely but gee, he’s like a menopaus-ing llama. All he needed to say was no, I can’t. Instead, he mustered all his strength and tried to intimidate me. I was real sorry that I interrupted his class but how should I know? He was bolting me with irritating stares. Bless him.
My problem is this: How to resolve this issue with the former president without steering away from friend zone? I hate that I belong in that zone but I cannot lose him just because I was selfish enough to think that there can be more than that. I think I’ll just ignore this and went on with my life as if nothing really changed. Right? And I have resolved that I don’t deserve him. So I guess this is it. Just let it go and move on. Baaa.