Wednesday, October 17, 2012

What Makes Me Sane

…from all the pressures in my current life is music. Sometimes I feel so burnt out that I cannot even keep a straight face in front of everybody. And of course, blogging keeps the stress away…For a short while, that is.

When things changed, I had a hard time adapting. And sometimes, the talks make it all even more stressful. I don’t know what to do. It’s difficult balancing everything from being just friends to becoming the professional worker I should be. Where does one draw that line, really?
I want to be sympathetic but I want to be respected as well.

When I first came in here, I said to myself to strictly follow this motto: “Be friendly, but never be familiar.” Did I follow this? Yes, but not in its truest sense. I sometimes caught myself sharing. YES YES YES it is normal but I just don’t want to see myself in a situation where people will someday know the whole story about me. I believe that the people, whom you gossip with, will be the people who will gossip about you someday. A circle has no beginning and no end. Indeed. It’s better not to engage from an act that could lead to conflict.

Too uptight? Maybe. But for me it has something to do with self preservation. Those same words have become my shield from all the disappointments that I could harvest from socializing too much. Anger is just one part story and it dissipates quickly. But disappointment? It will haunt you till the very end. It will become the “guiding factor” when you try to go out again. Then from time to time, your long term memory will remind you about it. That’s a lot of shit, I tell you.

I do not understand much but one thing is certain, I need to be wary.

There, I feel better.

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